Identity?

Here within this quiet greenness i possessed the only identity I had ever known, and I was losing it." (pg 99)

Emerson uses these words to mark a pivot point in the character's attitude towards Mr.Norton's incident in Golden Day. Before, the main character had mantained distance with Mr.Norton and made an effort to continue being polite and reserved. Now, as he imagined the consequence to his actions, he wanted to beg his pardon, cry, and show him how awfully sorry he was. he wanted to victimize himself, just as Trueblood did in chapter 2. After visiting Trueblood, the narrator finds how useful it is to become a victim to the white perspective, in order to win their pity and mercy and get financial reward. 

The narrator wanted to do so in order to conserve his identity, but this identity was one that is manipulated and fabricated by the white society, who he praised and respected. On page 99, Emerson show how the character's mentality towards his own race has being affected by the constant interaction with the whites: "I hated them (the black people in the golden day)". This sense of disgustment and hatred shows how the narrator has victimized the entire black community and feels sorry for them. He feels outside of the "black" status and decides to mimic the white's mentality of superior race that abuses and commiserates the others. As the character faces the fact that he is not either black nor white, but invisible, he realizes that he's not superior or inferior to others, just indifferent.